EMAIL 002
Monday, April 24, 2017
from: lo_taffy@yahoo.com
to: jazz009@gmail.com
If I could eat I would probably be eating cheese right now. And yeah, I thought about eating people's hearts so they would stop talking (in a very dramatic and literary way), however that's not possible and they probably wish the same thing as me. However, I'm at the library and the only thing to grab is either coffee or pastries. Which do sound good but considering the hour I should probably keep talking to you instead of wiring myself to a deadly night of terror due to caffeine.
On another note, I'm single and ready to throw up. Joking, I don't know why I said that but relationships to me are either as abstract as Picasso's Guernica painting or as realistic as any DSLR photograph. And to that I'll say: thank Godzilla for the invention of the camera.
Straight to the point is the new old. Has it happened to you? (The throwing up is from the Guernica comment of course). You know me I hope…
Some of my college friends have been sending me Guernica messages and telling me to lose weight if I want to look prettier in pictures. I mean, they do have a point because they met me when I was 18 and my online pictures are still hanging around campus however it's my life no? Party life and social appearances are not for me these days and I do feel pretty beautiful, it is just so hard so smile in pictures! Especially when they question your appearance?
Ok, library is about to close. I am meeting Miles at Verona’s Joint for a beer. Wanna join?
- Lola
VERONA’S JOINT
Bouncer Fred: “Hey Lola, please don’t get shitfaced this time. Last time you yelled at the vocalist of The Sharpies and called him an asshole.”
Lola: “HE WAS YELLING AT US FIRST! And no, I am not getting shitfaced tonight, I’m just meeting Miles for a beer.”
Bouncer Fred: “Alright if you say so, take care of yourself and stop writing shit on the ladies’ bathroom walls, I’m tired of covering for you, next time you’re fucked.”
Lola: “Relax Fred, last time it wasn’t me, it was Susie, the groupie that always hangs around here after shows.”
Bouncer Fred: “Susie? Yeah right, that girl could not write that kind of stuff even if she wanted too.”
Lola: “Yeah, that’s what I say too! Alright Fred, catch you later, I see Miles starting to stare at his Stephen King novel and that’s bad news for me.”
Lola walks in, stares at the bar where Veronica the owner is pourin’ a shot of Tequila to one of the dropped out local musicians. The jukebox is playing Built to Spill and Lola wants to die because that song reminds her of everything melancholy and dramatic about this world. She decides to ignore the bar for now and heads over to the table where Miles is sitting dressed in his linens and his shaved head.
Miles sees Lola approaching and puts down his novel. He makes a weird move that leaves Lola no choice but to question what he has been up to.
Lola: “What’s up with you? Are you turning the European way? You know I hate those cheek kisses. Also what’s up with your linens? We’re in the middle of fall for God’s sake.”
Miles: “Yeah I’m dating this French girl that writes articles for Cosmopolitan and that’s how she salutes her friends every time we go out.”
Lola: “Well good for you but please leave your French to your girl dude, you know these things give me the creeps and also everyone here knows me!”
They sit down. Lola goes to the bar and gets two PBRs. The dropped out local musician is over at the jukebox station leaning towards the next track and Veronica is asking way too many questions about Miles. Lola cuts down the conversation and tells her that Miles has a French girlfriend and reminds Veronica that she is married to The Sharpies’ drummer.
“Two PBRs!” says Lola handing Miles his fare share of cheap beer.
“Ok, next round is on me,” replies Miles. “So what is up with you? I saw you attended Claudia and Charles’ wedding, how was it?”
“It sucks because sometimes you are having fun and then the camera shows up and you know those pictures will be uploaded so it kinda ruins the naturalness of the moment, you know?” says Lola.
Miles: “Shut up, you looked great.”
Lola: “Yeah, exactly. Moving on, tell me about the Frenchie, what has she done to you?”
Miles: “Yo, how much are the PBRs in this joint?”
Lola: “$2.50”
Miles: “Woah, you gotta be shitting me. Who knows where they get these beers from Lola.”
Lola: “I don’t know dude, ask Veronica, she’s standing over there behind the bar.”
Miles looks at Veronica and then turns to Lola with a perverted look in his eye.
“You know she’s married dude,” adds Lola.
Veronica looks over and sees them staring at her to whom she replies: “why don’t you take a picture? It will last longer.”
Miles drinks a sip from his beer and Lola decides to go get herself a song. The jukebox is now playing Band of Horses, which she quickly tries to end by adding Rebel Yell from Billy Idol to the queue. “Yo, mister, did someone break up with you or something?” she asks the local dropped out musician who is waiting in line to probably add another song from The Shins or something. The guy introduces himself as Jackpot and explains to Lola that sometimes indie music is good for the soul. Lola squints and tells him that this jukebox sucks anyway and that she’s only here for the cheap beer. Rebel Yell starts playing and she warns Jackpot to quit the sadness because it is Wednesday and in the bar next door it is supposed to be ladies night.
She returns to the table and sees that Miles cannot drink his beer because his new fancy frenchness is not letting him.
Lola hates this world.
“Dude if you’re not going to drink this beer go get yourself a martini” she says while grabbing his beer and placing it on the floor next to her high-tops. “I might just do that” responds Miles before going to the bar for another drink.
Lola hates Miles for a minute. No, for thirty minutes while he tries to talk to Veronica and Jackpot comes over and takes his seat.
Jackpot asks Lola her name to which she replies Bingo. Then she asks him what instrument he plays to which he says banjo. The sadness of the conversation speeds up when Jackpot says that he is new in town and that he is looking for a local band that needs a banjo player. “You know, the vocalist from The Sharpies told me once that they’re looking for a banjo player,” says Lola. “The what?” replies Jackpot, “The S-h-a-r-p-i-e-s,” says Lola in a very annoying way. “You know, the markers you use to write profanities on bathroom stalls?”
“Oh yeah, those ones. Well I’m not into that name so I’ll probably start solo. You know there is an open mic here right?” comments Jackpot.
At that moment Lola receives a text from Jazz. He says that he got hung up at the office and he won’t be able to make it tonight.
Lola hates this world.
“They’re not that bad, they play non-indie rock and roll and they like to yell at strangers, you should try them out,” says Lola while chugging her last sips of the beer and heading over to the bulletin board where the latest flyer picturing their latest album “Buildings on Fire” is pushed pin to the wall. She hands it over to Jackpot and writes “say Bingo knows you” on the back of the flyer.
The bar is now a little emptier than before and Miles is flirting non-stop with Veronica’s purple hair. Lola is faced with serious decisions. She decides to get a Styrofoam cup, fill it up with the remaining beer and go to the park and see who’s smoking pot.
“See ya,” she says to Miles and Veronica and heads outside for some inspiration. The music next door is blasting techno and the girls outside are having gummy bear martinis with cigarettes. Lola is tempted but she decides to keep moving.
The night is as cold as a fall on a winter’s afternoon. The park is right around the corner and the smell of garbage is laundering the streets coming from the city’s sewers. Lola hates this world a little less. The garbage reminds her of Miles and the sewers of the jukebox.
She puts her hands in her pockets and finds out that she forgot her wallet at Verona’s Joint. “Fuck,” she says, “not again.”
Lola heads back to see Jackpot smoking a cigarette at the front door while Fred the bouncer yells at him for not smoking on the labeled area. The girls sipping their gummy bears look at him like he’s some kind of trashy god that could fulfill all their rock star fantasies. Lola heads inside, gets her wallet, and finds a pack of Camels that Miles left there. She gets one and decides to go smoke it on the alley.
The smoke is bursting to the sky and Jackpot decides to invite Lola to the bar next door. To which she says yes because she couldn’t test this world more than that. They go next-door, sip some gummy bears and then Jackpot invites Lola to smoke some greens over at his flat that is literally one block away. Lola, dry as a pyramid, says “sure” and they head over to the other side of the evening. Once the elevator opens, they bust Miles and Veronica making out (French kissing) against the wall of the elevator in the lobby.
Lola is very surprised and disgusted to see Miles’ pants. She is also proud to have him as a friend, actually. Veronica’s bra is badly adjusted and Lola decides to go back to the joint before heading into that elevator.
The elevator closes and heads upstairs while Lola is left with Jackpot and a weed necessity. She tells him that they should go back to Verona’s Joint and wait for The Sharpies to show up since Veronica’s boyfriend is a pothead as well and the drummer of the band.
THE NEXT DAY
Lola wakes up passed out at Veronica’s couch with a joint on her hand and with no shoes on. Jackpot is on the kitchen making breakfast. She stands up and immediately heads to the bathroom to puke a rainbow of gummy bears. She comes out and sees many text messages from Jazz asking her where she is and irritated that she stood him up for brunch.
She looks to the master bedroom where she sees Veronica passed out with her boyfriend while spooning him.
A bag of weed is laying on the living room table so she decides to roll one joint with a Camel tobacco that Miles left behind.
Veronica stands to shut the door and asks Lola to get Jackpot out of the apartment to which she replies “not my problem.”
The smell of eggs and bacon is making Lola sick. The joint is kicking in and the light of day is making Lola hungry for brunch. She tells Jackpot to go get ready to head to the streets.
She is confident that nothing happened because she is well behaved when she smokes pot. She is also concerned about Miles and her Frenchie and kindly asks Jackpot to shut the door when he’s done eating breakfast. She is ashamed that she did not make it for brunch with Jazz.
What a horrible moment, to see gummy bears wasted in such an empty way; also sad that Jackpot was so desperate for friends. However she knew he lived in that building so he probably just showed up for breakfast. Last words she mentioned to Jackpot were “better call The Sharpies.”
It was 11 am and Verona’s Joint had some of the “Buildings on Fire” flyers with heel steps probably from the girls next door scattered all over the floor. Lola hates this morning. What happened last night and why wasn’t she in brunch with Jazz?
She gets a text from Miles that reads: “did you get home safe last night?”
Lola: “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Miles: “I had fun last night.”
Lola: “Fuck off Miles, I have the biggest hangover in the city right now.”
Miles: “Ok, text me later, I still have the flyer you gave me.”
Lola: “What flyer?”
Miles: “The one with the poem.”
Lola: “?”
Miles: “-_-“
Lola: “See you later dude, I don’t remember shit, just the flyer I gave Jackpot with The Sharpies information.”
- If you think that Lola made love to Miles go to chapter one.
- If you think something happened between Lola and Jackpot go to chapter 2.
- If you think Veronica’s drummer busted her with Miles go to chapter three.
- If you think it was all a dream go to chapter four.
CHAPTER ONE
Yes, Lola and Miles made love right after the drummer busted the door open after his show. They fucked in the elevator first and then finished it on Veronica’s couch. However, Lola doesn’t remember anything; only Mile’s giganticness of a package when she stared at his pants while he was French kissing Veronica.
CHAPTER TWO
Fuck no. Nothing happened. They became best friends and she helped him find a band so he could play the banjo.
CHAPTER THREE
To be written.
CHAPTER FOUR
No, it wasn’t a dream. It did happen.
Is very simple. Let's say you meet someone you reaaaallly want to date. So you either ignore him and play hard to get because playing is what will get your status to a safe place in case you get rejected. Or say it like it is and then move on to an adventurous dating time playing in the grass and making each other better people in order to figure out if there is such a thing as a 'soul mate'.
I mean, sure, I've done the first one and guys loooooove it (haha?). But trust me, when you get along with that person in order to go the second option after a few dates then congratulations on your new camera.
Maybe is not a question of strategies. It's just a matter of compatibility. I hate the game right now so excuse my spanish translated into English.
To me, the most important thing is to be true to yourself and once that happens you will attract the right bachelor. Or bachelors (another different struggle I don't want to start talking about right at this moment in time).
Back again to that beer. So yeah, I miss my friends and taking shots and talking shit. I mean, we are in 2017 and I'm 28 for gods sakes. Where are the cool conversations that I like to talk over not loud but just right Marc Bolan songs?
Fuck it. I have some beers at home so I'm going to talk to my imaginary friends at home.
[going home in a post gym outfit with no books on hand and frenzy eyes so beware]
